Books and DVDs offered from The Shared Heart Foundation


Resources to Support You,

Your Relationship,

and Your Family...


To Really Love a Woman

ISBN-13: 978-0-9612720-7-4, 240 pages, $15.95


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woman book-front - small 

How does a woman really need to be loved?

How can her partner help to bring out her deepest passion, her sensuality, her creativity, her dreams, her joy,

and at the same time allow her to feel safe, accepted and appreciated?



To Really Love a Woman - Click this box to choose one book or the discounted set of both books




To Really Love a Man

ISBN-13: 978-0-9612720-8-1, 220 pages, $15.95



man book-front - small

How does a man really need to be loved?

How can his partner help to bring out his sensitivity, his emotions, his strength, his fire,

and at the same time allow him to feel respected, secure, and acknowledged?


To Really Love a Man- Click this box to choose one book or the discounted set of both books



Praise for both books:


“Read these books if you want to have a more loving, intimate, understanding and vulnerable relationship with the special person in your life.” –John Gray, PhD, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.


“To say that Barry and Joyce Vissell are masters of love is not an exaggeration. Not only is their own marriage a model of the kind of relationship most of us would like to have, but they teach us what real, lasting love is all about. I highly recommend these two new books, and all their books and retreats to anyone who wants to have an enlightened relationship that lasts through time.” –Jed Diamond, PhD, author of The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come


“Barry and Joyce Vissell are two of the most sincere and compelling voices for healing relationships and creating the highest connections. They have devoted their lives to understanding and explaining what makes relationships work. The wisdom they share in these new books will absolutely help you create the kind of relationships your heart desires and you deserve.” –Alan Cohen, author of Don't Get Lucky, Get Smart

To Really Love a Woman and To Really Love a Man are backed by the powerful work the Vissells have been doing decade after decade in helping couples thrive and see the highest in one another, fueled by the beauty and success of their own partnership.” –David Feinstein and Donna Eden, authors of The Energies of Love


“Joyce and Barry Vissell walk their talk. Having been together for 52 years and taught thousands of people how to love themselves and their partners, I am thrilled that they have shared their wisdom in these books. Their writing is a true representation of who they are: warm, caring, supportive, funny, and inspiring.  Give yourself the gift of these books and watch all of your relationships transform!” –Karen Drucker, singer, songwriter, and author of “Let Go of the Shore” 


“It’s so easy to fall into tried-and-true patterns of showing love. The Vissells challenge us to let our imagination be big and to reach down deep to expand our repertoire of ways we show love. These books are detailed, practical, and inspirational guides for those who aspire to become great lovers and to bring maximum delight to their partnership.” –Linda Bloom, co-author of Secrets of Great Marriages.


 “Reading these two books is a blessing and transmission of decades of personal and couples work. These books are filled with teachings. Joyce and Barry have put truths into words that we were unable to articulate. We want to thank them from our hearts for creating an authentic map that we can trust and feel confident to follow.”  –Barbara and Mark Stefik, authors of The Zorcon World Stories


From the Introduction:



We feel that women and men are essentially similar souls in different-sexed bodies. Both sexes want the same happiness, need the same love, crave the same peace, and feel the same emotions. In all our previous books we have emphasized the similarity rather than the difference between the sexes. While this is the highest truth, there is another truth no less important. Most men and women approach life and relationship in different ways and react to situations differently. Notice we said “most,” because nothing is all or none. However, the difference in male and female hormones, the findings of brain chemistry research, added to the difference in how women and men are raised, help create different emotional climates and even alter ways of thinking. On the deepest level, women and men are alike. In personality, there is often a clear contrast. On the level of soul there is sameness. In thoughts and feelings, men and women can be strikingly different.

We write these books not to point out the differences between the sexes. There are enough books that do that. We write these books to give tools to the readers to more deeply honor their partners. With honoring there can be joining. Respect for differences breaks down the age-old wall between women and men. Before there can be union, there must be love. Before there can be love, there must be understanding and respect. Before there can be understanding and respect, there must be listening -- real listening – both inner and outer.

To really love another is to more deeply love yourself. To more deeply understand another is to more deeply understand your own soul. In other words, the real opportunity of relationship is your own spiritual growth. As souls, we are both male and female. It is just in our bodies, minds, and emotions that we express one sex predominantly.

Although these writings refer mostly to heterosexual women and men, there is a wealth of information for LGBTQ. Our focus, after all, is how to deeply love another person, whether it be a man or a woman.








 A Mother’s Final Gift:

How One Woman’s Courageous Dying Transformed Her Family

(#108) ISBN-13: 978-0-9612720-3-6, 216 pages, $14.95




A Mother's Final Gift  - Audio Book 


Since our family wrote the book, each of us narrated our parts.

A 5 hour inspiring story of Joyce’s mother, Louise, embarking
upon the journey of a lifetime, this is really a book all about living life to the fullest.

$15 download to your computer, iPod, smartphone, or burn to CD’s.
PayPal gives you a choice to use any major credit card.


Instructions: Clicking on Buy Now will take you to Paypal. After making your purchase please click on "Return to Shared Heart.org" for your download.




Every human being on our planet shares two momentous occasions: birth and death. In preparing for birth, there are great festivities, gifts are given, baby showers are planned and carried out, baptisms, brisos, and other religious rites are festively marked, nurseries are painted, cribs are built, booties are knitted, and the whole process is generally celebrated for nine months.

But death! Death is often another story. Most of us do not want to think about it – either about our own deaths, or the deaths of our loved ones. Death is the penultimate experience that will happen to all of us, and to everybody we know, but many of us become ostriches with our heads in the sand when faced with thinking about it. We often just ignore dealing with it.

This beautiful, touching book changed all of that for me. I had actually put off reading it because my own mother is ninety years old and not well. So at first, I was loath to read what I knew would be an emotionally-charged chronicle of another mother’s death. But I did read it, and I feel exceedingly enriched and enlightened by having done so.

A Mother’s Final Gift is the story of one courageous woman – Louise Viola Swanson Wollenberg – and of her tremendous love of life and family, and her faith and resolve. But it is also the story of her equally courageous family who, in the process of rising to the occasion and carrying out Louise’s long-held final wishes, not only overcame so many stigmas about the process of death but, at the same time, rediscovered what it means to celebrate life itself.

This book not only touches the heart in a very powerful, poignant, and joyful way, but reading it was life-changing for me. In writing this book, Joyce and Barry Vissell, and their children, mentor us through an experience that many of us were afraid to even think about it. Louise looked at death as her greatest adventure. So should we all. The title of this book is indeed A Mother’s Final Gift but, in truth, this story is an exceptional gift to every person who will read it.

George Daugherty

Emmy Award-winning producer,

director, and conductor



What people say about A Mother's Final Gift:

“This book is moving, uplifting, and ennobling. While the topic is a daunting one, it’s handled with such sensitivity and insight – and, yes, love – that you are forced to reexamine your fears about death and dying… and dispense with them.”

– John Gray, Executive Producer, Creator, Director: CBS-TV "The Ghost Whisperer"


"A rare and touching account! If you would like to deepen your connection with your family, especially during the time of a passing of a loved one, this book will give you courage, inspiration, and a higher vision that will soothe your soul and help you navigate transition. It's a magnificent testament to love and the power of family to navigate transition."

– Alan Cohen, author of Linden’s Last Life.


“The Vissell family has written a beautiful and moving account of their mother’s (and grandmother’s) death. Despite her challenges, Louise Wollenberg lived her dying as a celebration of life. Her open and courageous heart became a portal to the other side, and her presence became a place of healing. This book will comfort and inspire.”

–Michael Kearney, MD, FRCPI, Medical Director of the Palliative Care Service at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital and Associate Medical Director at Visiting Nurse and Hospice Care.


“This is a goose bump book, a 10 hankie page-turner and a real primer for a loving, dying experience. Anyone who is caring for a loved one in the last stages of life or wanting to better understand conscious dying will gain comfort and insight from its pages.”

– Caroline Sutherland, author of The Body Knows



 Watch a video about A Mother's Final Gift



Meant to Be:
Miraculous True Stories to Inspire a Lifetime of Love

Compiled by: Joyce & Barry Vissell

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BOOK: Meant to Be: Miraculous True Stories to Inspire a Lifetime of Love

To read excerpts from Meant to Be, click here.

“Few books make me cry, but this one did, many times. The best collection of heart-full stories that I have ever read!” – Mary Jane Ryan, author of Random Acts of Kindness

"If you're ready for a collection of true love stories unlike any other, you're in for a real treat. These are likely to be the most amazing true stories you will ever see."  -- Alan Cohen, author of The Dragon Doesnt Live Here Anymore

"The true miracle of these stories is that they open your heart to your own miracle. For the miracle of love is within you, too, and your story can be as magical as these. That is healing message of Meant To Be; that is its wonder."
- Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations With God

"Chicken Soup stories are delightful appetizers, but many of the stories in Meant to Be are a main course. You will be digesting these for a long time."  - Connection Magazine

(#107) ISBN 1-57324-161-X, Redwheel-Weiser-Conari

The Heart's Wisdom:
A Practical Guide to Growing Through Love

(new edition of Light in the Mirror)

 Joyce & Barry Vissell
BOOK: The Heart's Wisdom: A Practical Guide to Growing Through Love

The Vissell's most comprehensive manual for growing spiritually through the process of relationship.

"The Heart's Wisdom is an expression of deep love and vulnerability."
- John Gray, PhD

(#106) ISBN 1-57324-155-5, Redwheel-Weiser-Conari, 252 pages

The Shared Heart:
Relationship Initiations & Celebrations

 Joyce & Barry Vissell

"The Shared Heart is full of beauty and compassion, richness and clarity. Barry and Joyce plough through the hard and soft spaces of the journey with great inner strength and deep respect for reflective inner tuning." - Ram Dass

“From the perspectives of romance, marriage, making love, parenting, careers, spiritual initiation, and loss of a loved one, this remarkable couple exhibits insight, acceptance and transcendence, at the same time offering specific tools for the transformational process of love.” —Yoga Journal
(#101) ISBN 0-9612720-0-7, 186 pages

Models of Love:
The Parent-Child Journey

 Joyce & Barry Vissell

“This is a book we whole-heartedly recommend to first-time parents, to grandparents, and to everyone in between.” Mothering Magazine

 “Models of Love is more than a parenting book. It will bless your whole life!” John Bradshaw

 “This book is full of miraculous incidents and sacred moments of loving connection that will bring tears to your eyes.” Whole Life Magazine

 “What society needs most is a connection between spirituality and parenthood. Bravo to the Vissells for helping us find the way” —Marianne Williamson.
(#102) ISBN 0-9612720-1-5, 320 pages

Risk To Be Healed:
The Heart of Personal and Relationship Growth

 Joyce & Barry Vissell
BOOK: Risk to be Healed: The Heart of Personal and Relationship Growth
Not infrequently, we receive an email or a letter with the words, “Your book has changed my life.” Almost without exception, the writer is referring to Risk to Be Healed.

"In this book, Joyce & Barry offer the priceless gift of their own experience with relationship, commitment, vulnerability, and loss, along with the profound guide to healing that comes from the core of their being and blesses us with gentle wisdom." 
- Gayle & Hugh Prather
(#104) ISBN 0-9612720-2-3, 192 pages

Rami's Book: The Inner Life of a Child
 Rami Vissell
BOOK: Rami's Book: The Inner Life of a Child
"We have been taught for a long time that the entrance to God's presence is through the eyes of a child. Rami flings wide that delicious door of perception."  - Rev. Stan Hampson, Past President, Association of Unity Churches

“My hope is that all adults as well as children may benefit by the understanding and love that Rami shares in this delightful book.”
—Ken Keyes

“Of all the books I’ve reviewed, this one went right to my heart and made me cry quite wonderfully. Truly an angelic and marvelous work, and a gift to the child still within me. I put it on display with a sign: ‘very, very highly recommended. 4 stars on the goose bump chart!’.”
—Richard Rodgers, manager, The Grateful Heart Bookstore.

(#103) ISBN 0-9612720-4-X
hardcover, 56 pages, full-color illustrated

Light in the Mirror:
A New Way to Understand Relationships

 Joyce & Barry Vissell


If you had but one book to choose to renew your relationship, this should be the one.
- Small Press Magazine

Light in the Mirror is a must for anyone who yearns for better connection and more joy in their intimate relationships.
- NAPRA Review

Light in the Mirror is an expression of deep love and vulnerability, and the celebration of what commitment can be.” John Gray

“We highly recommend Light in the Mirror to anyone who values clarity, honesty and growth in their relationships. This book is inspiring, powerful and liberating.” John Robbins

“In Light in the Mirror, Joyce and Barry Vissell share with deep tenderness and vulnerability the valleys and peaks of their relationship. They go on to share ‘practical spirituality,’ suggestions that will be most helpful to everyone finding their way home to the heart.” Gerald Jampolsky and Diane Cirincione

“We have always benefited from the gentle wisdom of the Vissells. Light in the Mirror is one of the rare voices for sanity in the field of relationships.” Gayle and Hugh Prather



Light in the Mirror SALE

Here's your chance to bring light and hope into the lives of those you care about. A chance to give a $14 book containing much of what we've learned about the path of spirituality and relationship for as little as $4.19. ISBN 0-9612720-5-8, 303 pages.

(#105a) 2 - 4 Copies: 50% Off: $6.98 each

(#105b) 5 - 9 Copies: 60% Off: $5.58 each

(#105c) 10 - 30 Copies: 70% Off: $4.19 each

Select Number of Copies:

The Shared Heart Experience DVD
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DVD: The Shared Heart Experience
Here is a video workshop packed with inspiring tools to reconnect you with your heart and with those you love. You will be immersed in an atmosphere of open-heartedness, healing, personal growth and relationship transformation.
The strength and love of Barry and Joyce’s own journey adds to the healing presence within the workshop group. Filmed at Breitenbush Hot Springs
“Living From the Heart” Retreat,
this two hour DVD will have you laughing, crying, singing, and learning many valuable lessons about personal growth and the sacred path of relationship.

(#161) DVD 120 minutes $39.95
SALE PRICE: $19.95

Living from the Heart DVD
DVD: Living From the Heart
Topics include: The true soulmate; the higher-lower game (spiritual equality); the way to intimacy (in to me see); the power of vulnerability; getting beyond blame and victimhood (taking responsibility); honoring anothers differences; expressing love freely; and the magic of true appreciation.Filmed at the 2006 International Conference on Sacred Sexuality in Santa Fe, NM, this one hour DVD of the Vissells keynote address will both inspire, educate, and entertain you.
(#163) DVD $14.95

Sacred Sexuality DVD

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DVD: Sacred Sexuality

The sexual connection between two persons can be a profound spiritual experience, a union of two bodies, two hearts, two minds, two souls. Through prayer, eye contact, communication, honoring and respect, the sexual experience joins our hearts together in ecstatic oneness and brings us into contact with the source of our being. Love, in the form of caring, respect, sensitivity and deep listening, must be present for the sexual experience to be a magical experience. It
is very possible to feel the full intensity of delicious passion in our hearts and bodies well up with the fullness of compassionate love. The Vissells speak authentically and vulnerably about their own sacred sexual relationship. They share the most important lessons they have learned, both personally and professionally, about sex, relationship and spiritual growth. Most importantly, it’s less about what they say and more about who they are. Filmed at the 2005 International Conference on Sacred Sexuality in Santa Fe, NM, this one hour DVD will both inspire, educate, and entertain you.

(#162) DVD

Shared Heart Card Set
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Shared Heart Card Set
Card Set
Here's a great gift idea and a powerful tool for bringing more light to your relationships. We have chosen the most meaningful quotes from our books, and made them into a deck of cards.
(#151) 54 different cards

Four Paths To The Heart Cassette Tape or CD
 Joyce Vissell
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CASSETTE TAPE: Four Paths to the Heart
Cassette Tape

By popular demand, we've recorded four of the most important guided visualizations Joyce leads in our workshops. "Help in Time of Need," "Forgiveness," Knowing Your Beauty," & "Living Your Purpose." Each 10-minute visualization ends with a John Astin song.
#141 Tape $9.95  #142 CD $9.95

The Shared Heart Cassette Tape
 Barry and Joyce Vissell
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CASSETTE TAPE: The Shared Heart
Cassette Tape
This is a tape of inspiration and guided visualizations for individuals and couples interested in deepening all their relationships.
(#121 Cass) Tape

Transitions Into Fatherhood:
Personal Growth for Expectant Fathers Cassette Tape

 Barry Vissell
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This tape is a journey to the inner experience of fatherhood. Includes conscious fathering practices.
(#133 Cass) Tape

The Journey of Love:
Couples Moving Into Parenthood Cassette Tape

 Barry and Joyce Vissell
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CASSETTE TAPE: The Journey of Love: Couples Moving into Parenthood

Cassette Tape
This cassette offers inspiration and help in the journey from couplehood to parenthood.
(#131 Cass) Tape

Mother-Child Bonding During Pregnancy Cassette Tape
 Joyce Vissell
CASSETTE TAPE: Mother-Child Bonding During Pregnancy
Cassette Tape
This cassette is a guided journey into the bonding experience -- the heart-to-heart connection between mother and baby.
(#132 Cass) Tape


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Use your current PayPal account or set up a new account to send us money via credit card. Calculations are detailed on our mail order page. Please make sure to calculate the correct amount including shipping and taxes.

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Call us with your order and credit card information 1-800-766-0629 or 831-684-2299.

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* We will also send our books free of charge to prisoners or residents of halfway houses or rehabilitation centers. They should write to us directly from these places. *




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