Weeds in the Garden of the Soul

Negative statements spoken to us, especially when we were children, can have a powerful effect on us as adults. One small weed in a garden will not be too much trouble. If discovered early, it can easily be plucked out without hurting the garden. If left alone, however, the weed may grow and spread and eventually choke the flowers or vegetables. It is our task as adults to search the garden of our souls for the harmful “weed” messages taking root there.

Some years ago, I discovered a “weed” that had been affecting me in my relationship with Barry. Barry had been appreciating what a good wife and partner I am to him. I was often aware of a part of me that enjoyed these appreciations – and another part of me that didn’t believe him because I didn’t feel worthy. That part of me felt sad, that Barry’s words could not be true.

During one of our workshops, a distant memory from my childhood surfaced. I was working on a project for school with a person who was both an authority figure and a friend. I wanted to finish the project but this person was tired and wanted to stop. I tried to convince him to stay and keep working. I wouldn’t accept “no” for an answer. Losing his patience, this person snapped at me, “I feel sorry for your future husband having to live with a nag like you!” He then left the room and that statement was never mentioned again by either of us.

In time I forgot about his hurtful remark, but it had become a weed in my garden. It hampered my ability to really receive Barry’s appreciation and feel myself truly worthy to be his wife. When I shared this memory with Barry, he encouraged me to release that statement as having any truth – to pluck that weed from my soul garden. Remembering the experience from my childhood gave me the power to release these unhealthy feelings. A new happiness began to enter my life, a new awareness that – yes, I am a good wife and partner to Barry. With this awareness, I could now more deeply receive Barry’s love and appreciation. Though it seemed like such a simple thing, removing that one weed from my garden had a profound effect on me.

People often carry around with them many negative statements that hamper their ability to draw, sing, play sports, or, more importantly, be successful in their lives and relationships. Often, these hurtful statements can be traced back to a parent, a teacher, a sibling or someone else in a position of influence. If you are aware of any of these weeds in your soul garden, pluck them out. They are not serving you. The person who planted them in your soul did not see the magnificence of who you are. Pluck these weeds out, replace them with seeds of love and positive affirmation. Then watch your garden grow more lovely than ever.

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